Hidan Won't Be Ignored
by VTPM
Summary: (One-shot - KakuHida fluff) Hidan's tired of Kakuzu ignoring him, so he gets some help grabbing the miser's attention.


Kakuzu growled in annoyance, "What?"

He had been reading a book in the lobby area of the Akatsuki's hideout, but was getting very irritated at the pissy look Hidan had been giving from across the room for the past 20 minutes.

When the priest didn't respond, Kakuzu put his book down to glare back at him. _"What?"_

"..."

"Hidan, answer me."

"...You know what you fucking did."

Kakuzu was about to deny that, but then he realized what he was talking about. "You noticed then..?" He hadn't expected the silver haired man to.

"Did I notice...? Did I notice? YOU SOLD MY JASHINIST BIBLE YOU DICK!" Hidan screamed.

"...I needed the money."

"THEN SELL YOUR OWN SHIT NEXT TIME YOU GREEDY BASTARD!"

Kakuzu went back to his book. "I'll buy you a new one when I come across the next big bounty."

"You fucking better." Hidan huffed, calming slightly.

Kakuzu snorted, but otherwise went back to ignoring him, which started to piss Hidan off again.

"You're a bitch."

"Good for me..."

"I hate you."

"I'm aware..."

"Eat a dick."

"No thanks..."

"GOD DAMNIT, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"

"No."

Hidan snapped at that and swung his scythe at Kakuzu, cutting the man's book in half. "There, now you have no excuse to ignore me." Hidan said triumphantly.

Kakuzu twitched furiously at the destroyed book, but knew if he yelled at Hidan, it'd only encourage him. Instead, he turned on the TV, not giving Hidan a single glance.

Fuming, Hidan snatched the remote from him and turned the TV off. "You asshole, stop ignoring me!"

Kakuzu gave no sign of realizing he was there and simply walked out of the room.

"Hey, Kakuzu! Get back here, you dick!" Hidan yelled, but of course, got no response. He quickly ran after the miser and continued yelling insults after him all the way back to the stitched man's room, and then he slammed the door in Hidan's face.

Hidan forced the door open and was furious to see Kakuzu had started counting his money. "Hey bastard!"

No answer.

"...Fine, be that way. I don't care."

"31... 32... 33..."

Getting an idea, Hidan walked over to him and snatched his mask of his face, the took off out of the room, and he smirked as he got an immediate reaction from Kakuzu.

"GIVE THAT BACK, HIDAN!"

"Catch me first, you old fuck!" Hidan yelled back in response, satisfied now that Kakuzu wasn't ignoring him.

He didn't get far though, as some of the threads came out from between the stitching on Kakuzu's arms and wrapped around the priests ankles, tripping him and making him faceplant in front of Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi, the first two were having yet another argument over art and the last listening quietly and trying not to get involved, though they all stopped to look at him and Kakuzu.

"What are you doing, hn?" Deidara asked.

"Catch Blondey!" Hidan yelled, throwing Kakuzu's mask at him and grinning.

Deidara blinked in surprise, but couldn't help but smile and take off out of the room with the miser's mask, much to Kakuzu's annoyance. He quickly released his teammate and took off after the bomber. Sasori and Tobi looked a bit lost on what was happening, and the former asked, "Hidan, what's this all about?"

"That fucker was ignoring me so I stole his mask, but he caught me." Hidan replied simply. Sasori just nodded.

Deidara tore back into the room after a few minutes, though looked like he couldn't keep it up much longer. "Tobi, go long, hn!"

Tobi yelped as Deidara threw the mask far past him and disappeared in a poof of smoke through the floor and popped back up just in time to catch the cloth before running off with it.

"GOD DAMNIT GIVE THAT BACK!" Kakuzu snarled, forgetting about chasing Deidara and going after the masked man instead.

Sasori rolled his eyes and went back to carving a piece of wood he had for his newest puppet, not looking very interested in their game of keep away.

"What are you getting back at him for this time, hn?" Deidara asked Hidan.

"He sold my fucking book on Jashin, that's what. Then he started ignoring me and it pissed me off."

Deidara shook his head. "When are you just going to confess to him, huh?"

Hidan shot him a look. "I don't fucking know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do. Don't even bother denying it, hn."

Hidan looked away. "Shut the hell up, bitch..."

Deidara didn't look offended for once. "You know I'm right."

"You're a dumbass Deidara, you know that?"

He rolled his eyes and started walking out of the room. "Whatever, Hidan... I'm still right though and we both know it, hn."

There was a scream from the other side of the hideout, and Hidan guessed Tobi had gotten caught. Groaning in exasperation, Hidan followed the sound and soon found Kakuzu putting his mask back on and Tobi had vanished.

"Well, lookie who managed to catch that tricky little bastard..." Hidan said, smirking.

"Hidan, how many times have I told you to not do that..?" Kakuzu growled.

"Hm, quite a few times now... Your point?"

Kakuzu just sighed and walked away from him, and Hidan couldn't help but shift uncomfortably. "Hey, Kakuzu..?"

Kakuzu stopped, but didn't look back at him. "What now?"

"Uh, well..." Hidan was actually stuck on words for once. 'Damnit, don't tell me Deidara is actually right!'

"I don't have time for this Hidan..." Kakuzu muttered, starting to walk away again.

Hidan wasn't sure what he was doing, but he grabbed Kakuzu's arm roughly and the stitched man turned to him in surprise, only to have the priest crash his lips against his own, though the cloth mask got in the way, not that it ruined the effect at all. It only lasted about a second or two, but Kakuzu was still left in shock from it and could only stare at Hidan after he pulled away.

Before Kakuzu could recover enough to ask, Hidan looked away in embarrassment. "Don't steal my shit anymore, greedy bitch..." He muttered, turning and walking away from him.

Deidara looked up at him as he entered the room and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Well fucking what?" Hidan growled.

"You know, hn.."

 _Ah, shit. Well what do I have to hide from that nosy asshole?_

"I kissed him."

Deidara's jaw dropped and even Sasori looked up. "You what..?"

"What, you fucks go deaf or something?"

The two artists exchanged shocked glances before grinning.

"Now go gossip about it like the fucking teenage girls you bastards are." Hidan snorted, turning and walking away toward his own room, and he rolled his eyes when he heard Deidara squealing excitedly.

 _For Jashin's sake, he's such a fucking girl._... Hidan thought in irritation, though he suddenly froze. "Wait... Deidara fucking knew I would...? And I just...? HOLY SHIT I JUST KISSED THAT FUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK?! I-! ...Well shit.. Ah, oh well? What am I gonna do about it now? Heh, maybe that'll get my message across..."

Meanwhile Kakuzu was still frozen in place, trying to figure out what had just happened.

 _Did Hidan really just do that..? Why the hell would he..? ...Who am I kidding, he's too much of an idiot to have some complicated reason behind it... But that means he likes me..? But..! ...I don't believe it... Huh... I suppose it's not a bad thing though... I'll have to ask him about it later.._.


End file.
